S0, Halloween- you either knowit because you were dragged out of your comfy chair by overly-eager screaming children to hit the streets, or you don’t; in which case, you were dragged out of your comfy chair by overly-eager screaming children that kept ringing your bell and demanding sweets….
Of course I’d blog about Halloween. I’m a mom; we love this stuff.
I’m not a huge fan of Halloween in terms of the creepy decorations and such, but I do love the dress-up factor. And the candy.
CAAAAANNNDY.
I’m selective, though. I adore the chocolate, but being health-conscious, I restrict myself to the healthy candy. Like Almond Joy: almonds. Good, healthy. Or peanut M&Ms. Peanuts= nuts= magnesium or something. Good, healthy.
(Learn from me. I’m here to help.)
The truth is that since my kids have been old enough to be aware of the trick-or-treating concept, I’ve really enjoyed taking them, and love seeing their little faces light up when they hit that first doorbell (if they’re brave enough) and are rewarded with something delicious.
I don’t like explaining that they cannot eat it immediately (toddlers= instant gratification, no??)
I don’t like trying to justify why we can’t take the neighbor’s cat home to a tantruming toddler, even if the cat was really friendly.
I don’t like explaining that the NEXT DAY, our neighbors will not give you candy, even if you ring their bell, say, nine times. #4 tried. Hard.
But nevertheless, it’s fun for the whole family. And each year, we enjoy spending time overwhelming our neighbors with our brood, on the one day we can.
Except last year… (sigh)
Last year Hurricane Sandy ravaged our neighborhood, resulting in power outages for several days (let me immediately say that our loss of power was a mere inconvenience compared to the devastating experiences of others!).
I was very pregnant at the time with #6, and you know from Baby, It’s Cold Outside, that I don’t do well when it’s cold. Last year’s Halloween was a very chilly day. And after several days of being holed up in a cold, dark house with five cold, bored children, I was not in the right frame of mind to traipse through the neighborhood.
So my mom, the saint that she is, bundled my kids into bulky warm layers beneath their costumes & took my children trick or treating while I parked my cranky, pregnant self on a cold couch in my cold, candle-lit living room, cursing and weeping into my lukewarm herbal tea.
Sooo…. I wanted to make sure I redeemed the day this year for my little ones.
We secured our costumes early, because with six children, there’s no budget to pay #30+ for a costume that will be worn for 4-5 hours. (Thanks, Ebay and Craigslist!) A few costumes have been preserved through the years- most don’t survive the chocolate deluge-
– so if you’re a girl below the age of five in our house, guess what? You’re going to LOVE being a pink poodle!
Or, NO CANDY FOR YOU.
#5, a.k.a. Poodle #3… (prior to candy)
Like anything else, getting six kids dressed for Halloween takes time. A lot of time. It’s tough doing the Halloween thing on a school night. The minute the kids were home from school, we dressed in record time. Record as in, the slowest amount of time possible.
(Sigh) I will state the obvious: It takes FOREVER to get six kids ready to go anywhere.
And that’s without costuming.
Our living room resembled a bus terminal: sullen people slumped on chairs watching the clock. People rushing to and fro, hoping for departure. People ranting and swearing (umm… me). The smell of urine wafting through the air (oops… mental note- change #5!)
The Captain joined us early for the fun; because he works so hard to provide for his brood, most evenings he’s home late. As a result, he becomes a minor celebrity when he appear before 6pm. So as I struggled to jam little bodies into sheer fabrics and shove little feet into shoes, choruses of “DaaaddyyY!!” erupted as they tumbled out of the door with him, much like the Pied Piper leading a band of colorful maniacs through the village.
As a Halloween amateur, #5 was initially displeased with her poodle persona. As least, until she grasped the candy concept…
Before
After
The kids love running from house to house, helping each other along the way, and squealing over their goods. Making memories, you know? But the Halloween aftermath is what truly reminds me just how big our family is..
If our house resembled a bus terminal prior to trick or treating, afterward resembled… a subway station.
As in, filthy. Overcrowded. Full of bizarre people doing bizarre things, late at night.
Candy wrappers strewn across every surface. A warm body curled up on the couch in an unconscious, over-sugared coma. People with filthy, chocolate-smeared faces gnawing on candy, wrapped or otherwise. Tiny people wobbling around in an insulin haze, or chattering in excitement like crack addicts.
Shouting. Running. Costumes peeled off and discarded haphazardly. Crying, for no apparent reason. Attempts at thievery from other’s stashes. Paranoia over guarding their own stashes. Dinner, a.k.a. “real food” was ignored, because tiny bellies only wanted MORE SUGAR.
You know those recent studies that claim that sugar does not in fact make children hyper?
They lie. Stupid, stupid people.
I couldn’t straighten up the house that night, mainly because #s 4 and 5 were so chock-full o’ sugar that they bounced- literally BOUNCED- in their beds until nearly 11pm that night. And even though they stopped bouncing, they practically vibrated- humming until asleep.
And the most overwhelming part of it all?
The CAAANNNDDDYYY.
You kids may have scored a good load of candy, huh? Well….
Multiply that by FIVE.
We currently have, oh…. 27 lbs of Halloween candy, in two massive Tupperware containers that are hidden by necessity. Mainly from #4…
Looks sweet, right? She’ll cut you for a Kit-Kat bar.
Because the best part is, since our kids unknowingly live under our normally sugar-deprived dictatorship, their candy supply is pooled and distributed in allotments. As in,
Me: “Hey, #?, can you get/help me/bring over xyz? I’ll give you a piece of candy…”
Child: ” YESSSSSSSS!” (runs to complete task)
So not only do I have a year’s supply of Snickers Fun Bars, but I now have several sugar-addicted minions to do my bidding. It was a SUPER Halloween!!
