I Got This Locked Up

You can really  tell that the end of the school year is upon us, because my mind is on the fritz.

This post is really “Keys, Part Deux” based on my key-related antics just TWO days ago. We came full circle this morning with both of this week’s crisis points- the cat window and the keys both featured themselves in my messy, “made for reality TV” morning.

I admitted to my “mom gaffe” moment on Tuesday of misplacing my keys, which delayed the school drop-off. And I knew that when my kids went in to grab their late passes (an office that knows them quite well by now…), the staff would inadvertently hear all about Mom’s key loss.

Well, TODAY’S “duh” moment far outshines that of Tuesday…

We left the house on time today. “On time” to me means “not VERY late“, so we were in good shape, though we were hustling to climb into the car quickly to still make it.

I was strapping #6 into his car seat when #4 wailed from the backseat, “I forgot my snack in the houuuuseeee!”

Now if you know anything about #4, it would be of no use for me to say, “it’s ok if you don’t bring it”, or “not now… we’ll be late.” Because then every child in the car would be a prisoner of #4’s histrionics on the ride to school. And NO ONE wants to start his/her day with that.

So I stormed off to the house –keys in hand, apparently- ran into the kitchen, -dropping keys on counter, apparently- grabbed the snack bag, slamming the front door, -which was LOCKED, apparently- behind me.

Image Courtesy of www.wifflegif.com

And here’s the kicker. The Captain and I have often bickered about the locking of the front door. We live in a relatively safe neighborhood, so he preferred the door to be left unlocked on the nights he was working evening shift for convenience. And I’d protest,

“Are you nuts? We have kids! There could be criminals! No WAY!”

And am I right? Of course. But was I going to call him to let him know I’d locked myself OUT of our little fortress and INTO our relatively safe neighborhood?

No wayyyyyyy….

Fortunately, my mother happens to live a few doors down, so she was able to come down.

With a spare key.

Or so we thought.

Let’s Play A Game… Find The Spare Key… In A Random Mess of Random Keys…

I frantically attempted each key, No-No-No-No.. as my mom drove the older kids off to school in her car.

And of course, NOT ONE BLESSED KEY was the right key.

Why my mother does not have a correct spare key when she lives four doors down from me is a mystery I have yet to unravel, but I’m obviously her daughter because I also couldn’t unravel why I had never hidden a spare.damn.key for our door in the first place, either.

So, no keys. I hopped the (locked) side gate, and attempted to jimmy open the (locked) back windows (Locked, because, safety first, right? Ironic, because I can’t tell you how many times I have shrieked at family members for NOT locking a window or door after use).

NOPE.

But then… inspiration hit…

I had left the front window unlocked.

Yes, THAT window. The same damn window I griped about being unlocked & open, allowing our cat to make a break.

I grabbed the only ladder in our garage.. and hesitated. How scary is THIS thing??

Desperate times call for desperate measures…

I’m not a wimp, but I’m also not a fan of immersing myself in the great outdoors- you know, bugs & stuff.

BUT… I planted the ladder in the bushes outside my front window, and then spent three minutes trying to push my own body through the bushes… (eeek.)

I climbed the ladder, lifted the screen, hoisted up the window.

I’m grateful for 3 things.

1. The window was unlocked in the first place, and
2. My mom didn’t have her phone to record the sight of my a$$ squeezing its way into the window and commando-rolling onto my floor.
3. My neighbors are cool enough not to ignore the sight of me climbing into my front window & my mom in her snazzy leopard-print pajamas.

But I made it in, unlocked the door, & ran #5 off to school. And as the secretary let her in, #5 proudly announced,

“We’re late because mom had to climb in the window!” (big smile)

So yes, we now have a spare key. And yes, the front window is now locked. And yes, my kids were once again late to school, but at least my excuses are getting better and better, no?