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Six Pack Mom

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About Me

 

Six Pack Mom is a parenting blog that details the amusing anecdotes of daily life with a large family.

The goal: to tell you about the insane shenanigans that I face daily so you can leave here feeling much better about your own life. Parenting is one of the most challenging endeavors we can take on, & there’s a sense of comfort & comradery when we can bond over our triumphs, tribulations, and FLAT-OUT FAILS.

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Six Pack Mom’s life plan was to travel the world as a single, mad professor with too many cats, too many books, and no kids.

Definitely no kids.

God has a sense of humor, however; because Six Pack Mom’s life plan changed- she’s now married to (the love of her life) The Captain, and spends every waking moment with her six (Six. SIX!) loud and lovable kids, unless she’s hiding in the bathroom from them- which is where her only reading time occurs in the form of kids’ notes slid under the door.

She limits her travel to the local Stop & Shop, or any drive-thru serving caffeine. 

There are two cats who fight almost as much as the kids.

 


She may maintain the facade of a mature, responsible suburban housewife & mother, but deep down, Six Pack Mom is an overgrown teenager who still loves: 

Ghostbusters, New York, books, Trivial Pursuit, cats, Superman, Rocky, faking accents in public, pizza, Star Wars, comfy jeans and T shirts, sports, backpack camping, teaching, laughter, Nine Inch Nails, celebrity gossip, coffee, tacos, air-guitaring, inside jokes with age-old friends, the ’86 Mets, babies (obviously), & pranking those she loves most.


In short, a helluva lot of good stuff to write about. Welcome.

 
        
   

Greetings!

For Sale: Master's Degree in English Education, like new. Barely used by SAHM of a bajillion (ok, 6) kids. Will work for coffee. Or Pampers. Read More…

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For Sale: M.S. in English, slightly used- will trade for coffee. Writer featured in @Buzzfeed, @USAToday, @HuffPost.
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SO TRUE! I was babysitting an infant and two toddl SO TRUE! I was babysitting an infant and two toddler boys by age 11… I can’t even imagine… 😂

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Whoa. I can’t even… just….. WHOA. 🫠 Guys, how ya d Whoa. I can’t even… just….. WHOA. 🫠 Guys, how ya doing out there??

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Happy Mother’s Day! 💐 Motherhood- when “sitting d Happy Mother’s Day! 💐

Motherhood- when “sitting down” is considered a luxury. And please, kids, for the love of God- no.more.gerbils.

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May is just… wow. Ok. Whoa. 🫠 via: @scarymommy May is just… wow. Ok. Whoa. 🫠

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It’s actually happening RIGHT NOW. Decided to reor It’s actually happening RIGHT NOW. Decided to reorganize the linen closet. Now sitting in it, surrounded by too much clutter and my brain is on fire…🫠

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SO excited!! 🤪 Somebody's got a case of the Mooond SO excited!! 🤪 Somebody's got a case of the Mooonddayyyyss....

(Me. It's me.)

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For Sale: M.S. in English, like new. Will trade for coffee. Writer & teacher featured in @Buzzfeed, @USAToday, @HuffPost & The Steve Harvey Show.

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six_pack_mom Stephanie Ortiz @six_pack_mom ·
12 Jun

Me: “I literally can’t take the chaos in this house! Two cats, six kids, too.much.chaos.”

Also me: “I REALLY NEED A KITTEN.”

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six_pack_mom Stephanie Ortiz @six_pack_mom ·
12 Jun

TGIF, all!

My weekend's itinerary includes:

•Driving kids around
•Waiting to drive kids around
•Waiting for pick kids up
•Thinking about all the other things I should be doing while driving kids around.

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