Let me preface this by saying that that prior to turning 40, I was never the type to experience any angst about my age. My 20’s were great. Turning 30 was no big deal, because I was so busy- married for 5 years and pregnant with my third child.
But the Big 4-0… well, that was a different story…
The prospect of turning 40 was not ok with me. 40 is OLD. 40 is sore muscles, mom jeans, sensible haircuts, and holding things further away from you as you attempt to read them. No. NOOOOO.
The problem is, the chronological number didn’t gel with my internal age. You know. About… 23, maybe?
I suppose it was a typical mid-life crisis moment, but as the day of reckoning approached, I began to take stock of my life. How did my twenties fly by so fast?
I remember watching Friends waaaay back in 1994, marveling at how cool and adult they were. Apartments, jobs, relationships, lounging in NYC coffee shops… it was so glamorous and grown up. Cool, yet completely alien to me. I couldn’t imagine being old and, you know, responsible.
And then my twenties flew by…
And where’d my thirties go???
Do you remember the show Thirtysomething, circa 1987 (why I was even watching the show at age 12 is beyond me…) ? I remember liking it, despite the fact that I couldn’t even FATHOM being that old, EVER. Mortgages… whaaa? Marital tension? Balancing work and home life and kids and adult friends…. it was pure fantasy to me.
And then my thirties flew by…
(And neither decade resembled the aforementioned shows; I can tell you that. Well, except the copious amounts of coffee consumption, but that fine tradition continues today.)
It’s a cliche, but time really DOES fly by. And it made me sad for a bit, realizing how fast it’s all gone by. I began to feel like I’d lost myself in the midst of being married, and building a home and a family. I had invested so much of that period of life into my family that I wondered: did I live MY life, or was I merely living it for everyone else?
You know. All that mid-life crisis angst that comes with turning 40…
And yes, I spent a few hours bemoaning my lost youth, and mourning the things I’d never done, and might never do.
BUT….
My birthday celebration comprised of a fantastically fun pre-birthday dinner out with friends and family at my favorite restaurant, followed by a backyard BBQ on my actual birthday with even more family and friends. I was surrounded by people that love me so much, and were so happy to celebrate this milestone birthday with me.
And that’s when I realized what’s made my forty years so rich-
LOVE. FAMILY. FRIENDS.
I had the good fortune to spend my younger years being raised in an amazing family, and I’ve been privileged to spend my adult years raising an amazing family of my own. There are certain things I haven’t done, some I’ve yet to do, and some I may never do. But instead of being hung up about those things, I realized that I’ve been given:
40 years of being a daughter to two of the most loving & dedicated parents
38 years of being a big sister to the wackiest, funniest brother & sister on the planet
35 years of treasured friendship with my best friends
18 years of letting God lead the way, while meeting more of my best friends
15 years of being married to the love of my life
13 years of being a mom to six hysterical kids, beautiful inside and out.
While the idea of being 40 still feels… odd to me, I’m no longer hung up on the number. Because that number represents a good deal of quality living. And while I still feel like my maturity level is that of the average 23 year old- that will likely not change- I’m thankful that I’ve enjoyed so much so far. I’m literally surrounded with people that love me and want to be loved by me, and for that, I am blessed beyond imagine. While I can’t always preserve the physical realm (though that’d be swell, huh??), I know that loving the people in my life to best of my ability is my true legacy.
And THAT is 40.
© Copyright Six Pack Mom, All rights Reserved. Written For: SPM Writes
Oh man, that was such a great post. Thanks for sharing all of the things that came into mind for you as 40 approached. And yes, I remember those pop culture references too. I cannot believe how life speeds up when you are the one taking care everyone. You truly lose perspective of time when you have kids and you don’t quite understand what your parents were saying when they told you, “life goes by quickly. “until you are a parent and experiencing it for yourself. It is wonderful and true that the people you surround yourself with is part of what makes life so rich. Thanks for sharing and you do not look a day of 20 🙂
Aw, thanks! You’re absolutely right about time flying because we are so invested in taking care of others.
You are right on about how easy it is to lose perspective on yourself/time when you’re so heavily invested in others’ day-to-day. Like most things in life, it’s all a matter of balance… which I’m still working on. Thanks 🙂
Happy 40th Birthday and you look beautiful! I have come to realize I am almost 50 and I don’t feel like it, but my mirror tells me otherwise. I do believe age is only a number!!!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Kim! I wonder is anyone actually feels their chronological age? But I agree- age is only a number.
This is too funny. And you look great!! Surrounded by love (: Happy 40th Birthday to you!
Funny is as funny does… and YOU’RE funny!! Thanks 🙂
Happy Birthday! I have not had any problem hitting any of the big bday milestones yet but time does seem to go by fast and faster, I am just trying to enjoy everyday! I love hoe you ended the post what a wonderful outlook!
Thanks, lady! And thanks for stopping by!
You definitely don’t look 40! I’m not to 30 yet but I’ve noticed lately just how fast time is going by and I know I’ll be there before I know it 🙁 . Happy Birthday 😀
Aw, thanks! It’s a cliche, I know, but time does fly. You’re still a youngin’- enjoy it! 😉
Happy 40th! This post definitely hits a chord with me, I’ll be turning forty at the end of August and I just keep thinking “how can I be turning 40”, it seems like I was just turning 30 a couple of years ago. Time sure flies when you are having fun (and once you have kids) ! 🙂
Thank you for the bday wishes! I know exactly what you mean- I still can’t believe I’m actually 40….
The 40s will be a blast! It sounds like tour kids will be teenagers so you will have your hands full! It looks like you had a great little celebration! Age is just a number it is all about the attitude!
I know- 4 teenagers… what were we thinking??? Yoikes! Thanks for reading. 🙂
I just turned forty last week, so Ic an sympathise with you! Especially the bit about time speeding up 🙂 I’m ok with it so far, like you say I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by lots of good things, not sure what I’ll be like when I hit 50 though!
Haha, I agree; though I’ve managed to process 40 and be ok, 50 may be another matter… 😉
Happy birthday!!!! Looks like you had a great day!
Happy Birthday! I had very similar feelings about turning 40. And now I have just a couple of years before having to face another new decade. I’ll try to emulate you and have a good attitude when it arrives!
Six you ARE tremendously blessed. What a beautiful family you have. I’m so glad I got to read about your birthday and see pics of the kids. I’m 70 and have grand and great grandchildren and I am so thankful for my life . I feel 23 too inside the outside feels 80. I love babies too. I miss babies. God bless you all. Thanks forsakinge laugh!
Thank you so much for stopping by, & for your kind words! I know what you mean about babies; my youngest is only 2 & already I miss having babies. 🙂
For goodness sake! That’s supposed to say for making me laugh
Okay, first of- I would not be complaining about turning 40 if i looked like that! xD ( I know you weren’t complaining) Second, I loved reading, and I love friends. Since they just put it up on netflix again I started re watching them all during nap time. And yes love, friends, and family make it all go by SO fast and make it worthwhile. Also I will have to read more on how you make it with 6 kids because i lose my cool with the 3 I have. I really want to learn how to be more easygoing because really that’s the only way to survive a big family.