A Near CATastrophe

TGIF, right? It started out like a beautiful, peaceful Friday morning. I dropped the kids off at school –on time, no less… GO ME!- and headed back into the house with #6. The plan was to take advantage of the warm sunshine by planting some flowers and enjoying the great outdoors.

But you know how it goes…

That deep water crevice is right about the time when I figured out the cat was missing. DAMMIT.

I did about 15 minutes’ worth of laundry, and came back up to the living room… to discover THIS:

The problem? That big gaping hole in the window where the SCREEN should be. You know, the screen that keeps bugs out, and cats IN.

Yes, the cat. You know her: Mittens, aka “Mitzie”, aka “Dammit, I JUST fed you!” (my name for her), aka “She hit me!” (#6’s name for her). She’s appeared here on the blog before via her formal complaint letter regarding our supposedly sub-par treatment of her… the brat.

Just to clarify, I love cats. I mean, looooove cats.

I blame my parents; they were also pet lovers that simply couldn’t say no to a potential new pet. So I grew up thinking this was normal:

The filthy five. Yes, five. Dare to go for a cup, & they’ll cut you. Or shoot you dead with those laser beam eyes.

I grew up with cats, loved cats, & even aimed to become a crazy single cat lady.

But then The Captain intervened, we had a bajillion kids instead of cats, & eventually added a single cat to our brood. A loud, whiny, demanding cat.

Mittens is an indoor cat, so like most indoor cats, she spends a good portion of time doing THIS:

 Waiting….

Or maybe plotting??

So the window was open, and our cat was MIA. I checked every single nook & cranny of our house. I called her name, which, without fail, makes her come running. NOTHING. I shook her food can, which always makes her dash out of some obscure corner. NOTHING. (This from a cat who senses from two floors away when I pick up box of cereal at 5am…)

I ran outside, peering through our shrubs & whistling for her, with no luck. And then I knew.

 I was screwed.

Two days prior, I was yelling at #2, the cat’s technical owner, to clean out the litter box. She wasn’t thrilled, and my last words on the matter were,

“If you don’t do it, I’ll give Mittens to a home with people who WILL take care of her!”

And there was going to be NO way that #2 would buy my “she ran away!” story now. I remembered all too well when my parents tried to pull that wool over the tender young eyes of my brother & I by insisting that our childhood dog had moved to a farm (she didn’t).

Or that our pet rabbit had been picked up by the mailman and brought home (umm.. I’m still not sure about that one. I suspect NAY. But we had mixed feelings about the rabbit, because it had a tendency to get overexcited when allowed the run of the yard, & would end up trying to hump the cat. Sometimes successfully. And NO KID needs to see that. So if the mailman really DID take the rabbit, I hope he didn’t have a pet cat.)

The clock was ticking; I had to find Mittens, and preferably alive, before #2 got home from school.

My mom stayed with the little guys in the house while I searched our block, calling Mitten’s name and whistling for her. The irony: Oh, I attracted cats, alright. Not mine, but I became the Pied Piper of cats for 1/2 a block as three others trailed behind me.

As time went on, I began to get more desperate; what would I do next??

Image Courtesy of www.reactiongifs.us

My Brain: FIND THE CAT.FIND THE CAT. FIND THE DAMN CAT.

My Heart: I’m a jerk. I’m impatient with Mittens. I will be SO nice to her; please let me find her…

But then, my mom called, to tell me that Mittens was home. I rushed back. The story according to Mom:

“I decided that #5 & I should pray. So we sat in the living room praying, & asking Jesus to bring Mitzie back from wherever she was. I prayed that He is a God of all things big & small, & He knew where she was. And just as #5 said Amen… we looked up and there was Mittens. Sitting right in the middle of the living room. Staring at us.”

Ain’t God good?

I was so glad that Mittens was safe & sound, and that #2’s sweet, animal-loving heart would be spared. And I remembered my oath to be nice to the cat, which was good b/c the minute I walked in the door, she trotted to her food bowl and:

*sigh*

Regardless of her behavior, Mittens is part of our family, & I’m glad she’s ok. And she’s now resting up for tonight, so she can stare at a wall & then randomly tear from one room to another for no reason at 12:03am. You know, like she does every.single.night. Because, CATS.