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April Fool’s Day Foolishness
So yesterday was April Fool’s Day, which, if you’re a parent, consists of being told all sorts of nonsense by your kids, followed by the chant, “April Fool’s Day!” about 408, 937 times. (Like I don’t spend enough time being foolish, attempting to keep order in a house of 8 people…) Yesterday was also Saturday, which means that The Captain was at work. So the day began as most Saturdays do, with cereal crunching underfoot & a sink already filled with dishes, despite being emptied only 11 HOURS EARLIER. As I was filling the dishwasher, #6 disappeared into the basement, alone. Now in the past, #6 being alone anywhere in the house…
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A Near CATastrophe
TGIF, right? It started out like a beautiful, peaceful Friday morning. I dropped the kids off at school –on time, no less… GO ME!- and headed back into the house with #6. The plan was to take advantage of the warm sunshine by planting some flowers and enjoying the great outdoors. But you know how it goes… That deep water crevice is right about the time when I figured out the cat was missing. DAMMIT. I did about 15 minutes’ worth of laundry, and came back up to the living room… to discover THIS: The problem? That big gaping hole in the window where the SCREEN should be. You…
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I Can’t Take The Pet-tiness
“Get a pet, they said. Kids love pets, they said.” RIGHT… Before I tell you about this morning’s crisis, I need to explain how we got to this point. So bear with me as I dig back a few years… The Captain and I are devoted animal lovers. We celebrated our engagement by adopting a sweet, fluffy kitten, who despite her penchant for hopping atop the couch and attacking your ears without warning, seemed to be an obedient cat, until we discovered (after several days of a curiously foul odor wafting through the room at random times) that she preferred to do her business behind the couch rather than in…
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Let’s Not Be Catty
November 23, 2013 Memo From Management to Fellow Management & Employees: re: Company Feline Protocol ____________________________________________________ We are writing in order to update you regarding our new policy concerning the company’s feline entity, who shall for the purpose of this memo be referred to simply as “the cat”. A formal complaint has been lodged by “the cat” against lower level employees regarding the consistent lack of maintenance and productivity on “the cat’s” behalf. In investigating these claims, management has also observed numerous infractions against company protocol. Harassment in the workplace: “The cat” has alleged that on several occasions, she was aggressively accosted by employees. She claims that she has been harassed numerous…
