Book Review: Only Dead On The Inside

As a former English teacher & self-professing lit geek, it should come as no surprise that I love to read. All.the.things. And for those of you that hang with me here or on social media, you also know that I love babies (the whole “bajillion babies” bit), and I’m obsessed with humor.

I LOVE laughing, & I’m not talking a case of the giggles. I mean the full-on cackling, tears-streaming, occasional snorting sort of laughter.

So when my Twitter pal James Breakwell (aka @XplodingUnicorn) asked me to check out an advance copy of his novel, Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide To The Apocalypse, I was intrigued.

If you’re not familiar with James Breakwell, well, go check him out on Twitter now, because his parental observations & dialogue exchanges with his kids are hysterical. Seriously. Go check him out now & follow him on Twitter; I’ll be here when you get back.

I love James’ humor, but was initially a little hesitant about the subject matter. The truth is, well…

Disclosure: I’m not into zombies. 

Even Bigger Disclosure: I’ve never watched The Walking Dead.

Obvious Disclosure: I’m not very hip/”with it”/”in the know”

The closest I’ve come to The Walking Dead is myself before 8am & two cups of coffee, or my son when he’s forgotten to take out the garbage. Again.*

*(Sorry, kid, for calling you out on social media for your trash-toting fail, but you were warned.)

So I wasn’t sure a book about zombies would appeal to me, BUT- the fact that James is hilarious with a 140 character limit on Twitter was promising. He’s also got a bajillion kids like me & can probably use the money from his book sales for his kids’ future college funds, & we crazy, baby-booming people have to stick together, so… I read it.

And it’s … HEE-LARIOUS.

(Seriously. Wouldn’t that have been a way more appropriate & fitting spelling of the word??)

He had me immediately; just reading some of his chapter titles made me chuckle, such as:

• “Hide and Go Weep” (chapter 6)
• “Strolling For Trouble” (chapter 8)
• “So You Have To Cut Off Your Arm” (Chapter 11)

Created as a “guide”, the book features numerous cartoons, pie charts, & flow charts to illustrate essential, zombie-apocalypse aspects of life to consider. You know; things like:

Image Courtesy of James Breakwell’s Only Dead On The Inside

And lest you fear the use of cartoons will draw you away obtaining the vital tips that you (unlike me, a zombie awareness advocate, & undoubtedly one that will NOT be eaten like myself) might be searching for, well, don’t be afraid.

They’re bubble heads. No faces, eaten or otherwise, will distract you.

The book is chock-full of helpful hints about how to survive, & as you read, you realize that your experience in parenthood will actually be key to your survival. Case in point:

Your kids can also be a source for garnering useful survival tips: if you have any experience raising a toddler, you’ll understand.

You will learn how to forage for food, where to find clothing (and learn that clothing can BE food if you’re desperate, although polyester is hard on the stomach. The more you know…), alternative methods of currency & bartering, and how to use your stroller as a weapon.

And you’ll LAUGH.

A LOT.

Whether you enjoy the zombie genre or not, the book is a fun, casual read (unless you are seriously prepping for a zombie apocalypse. In that case, focus on the survival suggestions. The rest of us laughers will provide your food base for the first few months, so you can rest easy for a bit & finish the book).

Nearly every paragraph has at least one laugh-out-loud moment. All kidding aside, James is a gifted writer with a true talent for comedy, & you’ll sincerely enjoy his book. You’ll even begin to love the bubble heads.

My suggestion? Buy his book today, at Amazon. It’s worth it.

Maybe his aunt can borrow your copy…

My aunt: I’m so proud of you for writing a book. I hope you sell a million copies.

Me: Did you buy one?

Aunt: I thought about it.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 1, 2017