The Hot Mess Of A Typical School Year Summed Up In 25 Tweets

Another school year is back in full swing, and though I’d like to say I was prepared and have a handle on it… I won’t say it, because I’d be LYING.

The school year brings it own special sauce of chaos for families, and if you’ve got school-aged kids, then you’ll feel this.

Here’s a glimpse at the trials & tribulations that make up an academic year for parents, summed up in 25 tweets.

1. Organization is key, and I can’t find my keys.

There are a variety of efficient methods to get the school day off to an organized and timely start.

I don’t use any of them, but I bet they’re great.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 17, 2017

2. I start prepping them early about being on time, but… BAHAHA!

School's starting soon, so I sat the kids down for a stern talking-to about the importance of being on time.

Then we all laughed & laughed.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 19, 2016

3. So I prepare for the new school year, in my own special way…

Organizing for back to school, so I've already printed out 20 creative "Sorry we're late b/c.." letters.

That ought to cover September.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 24, 2016

4. Doing a dry run of the average school morning; yup, that’s about right.

Practiced our school morning routine today, so I hid one of each kid's shoes, spilled cereal, & had the toddler throw my keys in the trash.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 30, 2016

5. Then the reality hits me- school days start early. I mean, EARLY.

When you realize just how early you have to get up in the mornings now that school is starting. pic.twitter.com/9FcLxAv7Mv

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 6, 2016

6. I’m usually all set to take those “First Day of School” pics- oh, wait. Oops.

Forgot to take pics of kids' first school day with chalkboard.

Tried to log into Facebook; my membership was revoked.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 6, 2016

7. The second day of school is a rude awakening- LITERALLY.

Me: "Wake up… it's time to get ready for school."

5 yr old: "Wait- we're doing that AGAIN today?"

(The feeling is mutual, kid.)

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 7, 2016

8. Let’s not even get into trying to help the kids with their math homework.

Jr. high Open School night, math class. Probability, geometry, etc. The probability that I will be able to help w/math HW: 0%#ThatsNotMath

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 8, 2014

9. No, seriously- the MATH. I can’t even.

If x in my daughter's math homework equation=22, then y= sorry to my 9th grade math teacher for saying I'd never need to use algebra again.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 20, 2017

10. I DO support school spirit, though. Especially the loud, embarrassing kind.

I was told by 14y.o not to come to any future school football games, so anyone have a bullhorn I can bring to a future school football game?

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 17, 2017

11. At least you can get stuff done during the day- oh, wait. Never mind.

8:45- "Kids at school- HOURS to get stuff done!"

*laundry*

2:45-"Wait…what? Pick-up time ALREADY?? Sonova…"https://t.co/GjG8vA6vQe.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 25, 2016

12. There are the awesome moms who set the bar nice & high…

I'm just trying to hide my bedhead & guzzle coffee while dropping my kids off at school.

Meanwhile, the PTA moms: pic.twitter.com/OC5nUDy19W

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 3, 2017

13. … and then there’s ME.

When you're picking up your kids from school wearing the same thing as yesterday & fellow parents walk by. pic.twitter.com/8NrNZGGyQR

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 14, 2016

14. No matter how much I try having things ready, something’s missing. Always.

Me, to kids: "Listen- if we find your sister's shoe in the next 3 minutes, we'll still be on time for school."

Then we laughed & laughed.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 10, 2016

15. Each year brings many calls from the school nurse. She keeps finding me.

Me: "I have to stop seeing you; please don't call here again."

School Nurse: "Are you picking your daughter up, at least?"

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 11, 2016

16. Because GERMS.

So a vicious, vomitous virus is going around at school? Oh, cool, kids.

If you need me, I'll be over here: pic.twitter.com/qGDad5llUY

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 4, 2017

17. The school breaks always seem to pop up without warning.

Me: "At least I have tomorrow to run those errands."

Friend: "You know the kids are off tomorrow, right?"

Me: pic.twitter.com/UKqOFnm6nN

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 10, 2016

18. So do the snow days.

Kids: "Yay!! Another snow day tomorrow! School's cancelled!"

Me: pic.twitter.com/iXNN7QU5cS

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 9, 2017

19. How about those special dress-up days?

"Guess what, Mom? Thursday is Dr. Seuss Day at school- we dress up in costume!”

I do not like green eggs & ham
or school costume days,
Sam-I-Am.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 27, 2018

20. Or the high-maintenance class project that’s due… TOMORROW.

My 10yr old's teacher assigned them to make a replica of a Native American shelter, obviously because she hates me & wants me to die.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 27, 2014

21. Kids playing instruments can be music to your ears… or not so much.

Daughter #2 has been assigned to play clarinet in school.
Side note: must buy cotton balls. To sop up the bleeding. From my EARS.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 18, 2013

22. Then there are the concerts. So many concerts.

Just sat through an elementary school concert's 15 minute rendition of Freebird, in case you're wondering how painful childbirth really is.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 17, 2017

23. If I had a nickel for every forgotten item, I could pay someone to bring them.

Dropped my son's backpack at school after he walked there without it. On the bright side, looks like one less college tuition to pay for.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 16, 2017

24. It feels like the flood of papers never ends.

When your kids bring home tons of school reminders but it’s May & you’re already over it. pic.twitter.com/OnjCslxjTh

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 10, 2018

25. And by the time June hits, so done. So DONE.

Me: "Time to get up for school!"

8 y.o: "Ugh, still?! It's not over yet? Why isn't it over?"

Clearly my kid.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 15, 2017

There are many joyous moments to be had, but the school year also requires an intense, crazy pace.

I start to count the days left in the year, eager for summer. At least, at first I do. But the reality of all summer off together brings an entirely different type of stress:

Summer vacation only started two hours ago, & we've already had three tantrums.

One was mine.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 23, 2017