(Also appeared in Huffington Post Blog as “They Won’t Remember The Clean Towels”)
I missed the sun yesterday. Not as in, “aw, I wish it was sunny today. I miss sun.” Nope- we’ve had quite a few decent days here in the Northeast since winter began releasing it’s vice-like grip from our weather.
But our Sunday was beautiful; a made-for-order spring day where the grass is suddenly greener, the sun is warm, inviting, and glinting like diamonds off every metallic surface.
Or so it appeared. Through the windows of my house.
Weekends tend to be crunch-time for me; with everyone home, the laundry quickly piles up, the sink is endlessly crammed with dishes, and the only way to maintain order is to keep plugging away at it. And most of the time, my fellow family members contribute. But this weekend, the kids were so enamored by the sun and the warmth that they could not wait to go outside.
(Ok, I lied. When I suggested that they go outside, they were initially not into the idea, because they’ve grown so accustomed to not being outside. But then I said that they HAD to go outside. Because I’m the mom, and I.Said.So.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZZzNDLs5js
Soon there were all sorts of happy shrieks emanating from our yard, only occasionally punctuated by the thump of a child falling off the tire swing, followed by the wail of said child. Not because there was an injury that has occurred, mind you, but because the child is begging his/her siblings to slow down and let him/her back on.
The Yard- Where Things Get Real
The backyard antics were soon replaced by a lengthy bike ride, courtesy of my in-law’s, who despite living right across the street from us, never seem to tire of being fun grandparents to a bajillion kids. They suggested a bike ride around the neighborhood; instantly the kids scrambled into helmets, onto bikes, and pedaled off down the street.
The house was quiet. That’s rare.
I was able to be uber-productive without distraction. That’s also rare.
Several loads of laundry were washed, dried, and folded. Dinner was settled into the crockpot. The kitchen counters were scrubbed, the carpet vacuumed, the toilets scrubbed, and the papers were filed.
The kids were gone for a few hours, and when they finally returned, their smiles were bright, and their cheeks were glowing… from both the sun and the massive ice cream cones they’d eaten.
And I’d missed it.
It’s not that I couldn’t have joined in the fun if I’d wanted to. I could have hopped on a bike and watched my kids pedal along. I could have laughed with them. I could have admired how their biking coordination and speed have improved since last year. I could have enjoying the sensation of the warm sun soaking into my arms as I enjoyed a beautiful Sunday afternoon with my kids.
But I didn’t.
By that time, dinner was on the table, the sunset was filtering through the windows. Dinner was eaten, or flung in giddy fistfuls (oh, my #6), the table was cleared, and the bedtime routine began.
Each closet had clean, folded clothing in it. Everyone would enjoy the luxury of a freshly laundered towel for at least a day or two. The carpet was still relatively crumb-free. And that was good.
But…
Sunday was dwindling toward a halt. And I’d missed it.
It’s a given that the tasks need to be completed, for the sake of household harmony. But sometimes, I struggle with that balance. At times, the chores do need to take priority. But on this clear, sunny, Sunday full of happy kids, I knew I’d missed out.
The towels could have waited, a little longer.
The carpet could have waited an extra day.
I could have been outside. I could have been connecting with my kids, out in the sun, in the moment. And I felt it. I felt the tinge of regret, as the night drew to a close.
There will always be dirty towels. There will ALWAYS be crumbs.
But they won’t always want to ride bikes together. And they won’t ALWAYS be little.
Image Courtesy of www.pinterest.com
People Before Things…
The setting sun’s reflection through my front door.
© Copyright Six Pack Mom, All rights Reserved. Written For: SPM Writes
It’s so hard to find that balance! I do this too and find the constant build up of chores and tasks sucking away at my time. We need to remember to put it all down and have fun with our kids too! Great post!
Great post and I love that Brian Regan clip! I need the sun back here, raining for days!
Stephanie this was so good! I do the exact same thing and then regret it later. Balance isn’t easy, but as long as we’re aware and make a conscious effort to be present for next time, that’s a great start.
It is so hard to find that balance and I really wish I had the answer. The laundry can wait until it is the next school morning and then, there are complaints of no clean underwear (never happens here…just a hypothetical example 😉 ). We just need to be able to be in two or three places at once.
Such a great reminder to put the most important things first. It’s so hard to find that balance. The good thing is that there is another weekend coming up, and this time, you can play in the sun 🙂
Sometimes it can be really hard to walk away from the things we think need to be done. I have only learn to really just let it go and just go have some fun in the last few years and it feels great!
Robin, I’m hoping your activity list will help me do just that this summer! 🙂
People before things…indeed! It is so easy to get tied up in our daily chores that we forget to live. We all do it, and you are absolutely right our kids won’t always be little. We need to cherish this time with them and let the other stuff wait!
That’s my new motto- “people before things… people before things…” Easier said than done, but I’m trying. 🙂 Thanks for your comment.
I do the exact same thing! It’s taken me so long to figure out that at the end of the day, I won’t remember whether or not I skipped a day of laundry.. but I will remember what I did with my family when I did. Great post. I hope you get to see the sun next time!
Thanks, Kim. I always have that regret… at the end of the day, of course. Not in the middle of it, when I’m in the throes of chores.
I was on Long Island this past weekend and it really was gorgeous 🙂 Finding that balance of enjoying family and keeping house is no joke! I am slowly learning to accept that there will always be laundry to fold or spills to clean up. My kids won’t always be with me to enjoy so I might as well enjoy them in the moment. I hope you find the right balance and not miss out on any more sunny days.
It WAS nice, wasn’t it? Glad you got some quality family time in!
This made me cry. I work at home and it seems like I am always working. I have a hard time stopping to do things with my kids.
There is such a difficulty in balancing the work/play aspects, because we are pulled in so many different directions. I’m the same way, Leslie; it’s so hard for me to pull myself away from the things I feel like I “should” be doing.
I can so relate to this. I’m a person that likes to get chores done and check things off my list. It takes real effort for me to slow down, enjoy the moment and the sun. I know I won’t be relishing memories of washing dishes and folding laundry years from now, so I try to ignore the dust bunnies sometimes and make the memories that I will hold on to instead.
Me too, me too! It’s tough for me to make the time to bond with the kids, then to look around the house and feel like I’ve neglected that part of my “job”.
It is difficult when we play so many roles in the household. I know these moments all too well! Finding that balance is an ongoing process. The older my kids get the more I realized that they will soon be grown. I want them to have those moments to look back on. I hope you get to see the sun next time.
Thanks, JcCee! I agree with what you said about as they get older. My oldest is 12, and I already feel like I missed out on some parts of her “little-ness’ in my own distraction.
This is so good. It’s really hard to find a balance. I really try to make a effort and remind myself that chores can wait, but innocent days with little daughter won’t. At times I succeed, but other times it’s a guilt trip for me.
We all make the same mistakes! Sometimes if the chores are really stressing you out it seems easier, but I try to remember that the house will dirty again in five minutes and those fun moments you might not get back again 🙂
A mother’s job is not easy. I used to wonder how my mother did it with five girls and all the drama. Somehow they find time to do everything!
This is beautiful, and so important to remember. Just today I was commenting on the pile of dirty laundry, and the pile of clean laundry. We have not had time to do it all. But, we ha a beautiful weekend, with lots of fun, a little work on my end with projects and writing. And lots of memories. in the long run those are the things I will always cherish, not the laundry. My kids can still get dressed with the clean and not hung up clothes, they just have to go diving in the pile.
Ugh.. I have so been here. More times than I would have liked to admit. Its so hard to try to enjoy the moment, when so many other things are pulling you from that moment.. but the good thing is, you get it, you see it. That will always be in your heart, and will help you decided differently next time. <3
I love this. I think it needs to be an everyday reminder for all of us!
The epic battle of finding balance. Thank you for reminding me to connect when I can because the time is so fleeting. The work can usually wait but their childhood will not.
This is such a hard balance to find. I always struggle with getting everything done and the fact that I NEVER get everything done. It’s like a frustrating cycle that I can’t seem to get out of. I can totally relate to this post!
Gosh, that was my life today… I had so much going on and it was finally sunny, so I ended up outside playing with the kids. That part I didn’t feel guilty about, it’s when my husband came home from our son’s basketball practice to a house that wasn’t it’s usual clean self. Toys in the living room, 2 laundry baskets of folded clothes (at least they were folded, right), and dinner.. Dinner tonight was scrambled eggs, turkey sausage, and toast. Boom, mommy is done for the day… LOL
Great post, thank you for sharing!
Oh man that’s tough but your kids will love those memories with the grandparents!! It’s great that they will have such a wonderful relationship!! There is always tomorrow to play in the sun!
Wow-I totally know the feeling…lately, I feel like as soon as I finish my work, it’s bedtime already. Work/life balance should be easier as a mommyblogger but I am my worst boss. I think I need to start following the sun…Thanks for this post.
When my older kids were little I missed out on so much because I was always worried about my house being spotless, dinner being on the table, or everything else. Now with my baby I have learned to let go of those things I use to think was important and focus on enjoying my little boy and life more! I wish I could go back in time and enjoy my older kids growing up , but I am glad I learnt with this child.
With working all week and often on Saturdays, I do the exact same thing. With only Sundays to do grocery shopping, errands , housework, it’s tough! I feel guilty if I go outside, with so much to do indoors. Thank you for this, I need to make time to just soak up the sun, with no guilt!