I’m Waiting For A Turn With “My” Weighted Blanket

When you hit your 40s, your expectations of a lot of things change. You start to take joy in the little things. They are the things that you never thought you care about, granted, but that’s what being middle-aged is like.

And kids don’t get it. At all.

Me, to kids: “Wow, the car has been driving so smoothly since I got the tires rotated! I’m so glad I got that done.”

13y.o *long pause*: “Being an adult sounds so sad sometimes.”

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 22, 2019

 

Take birthdays, for example. When you’re young, you’ve got wants. If someone were to ask you for a gift list, you’d be able to rattle off at least 6-10 “must-have” items. Birthdays & holidays are the only time to score cool stuff when you’re a kid, so it’s go big or go home!

But as an adult, you can either buy the things you want/need, or… are broke enough to give up on buying the things you want/need. 

You tend to… scale down your expectations.

Case in point:

Husband asked what I want for my bday. Answer: "I'd love some great guacamole!"

Your 40s lower not just life expectancy, but expectations.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 14, 2017

(And did I get that great guacamole? Damn straight I did- and it was glorious.)

So, Christmas. The Captain & I tend to keep our own gift exchanges really simple. This year we each picked out one or two modest items we’d like, & bought them for each other.

I got him a hiking bracelet with lots of cool attachments… and an onion slicer. The slicer was upon eager request.

(I’m wish I was kidding.)

And I’d be lying if I said he doesn’t LOVE the thing. As for the onion smell in the house- I’m not loving that so much.

Onions… for DAYZ.

My request was a lap desk for my laptop. But in my browsing on Amazon, I also saw something I wanted, & impulsively bought it with a credit we had.

For myself. A gift, for ME.

I bought myself a weighted blanket. 

Weighted blankets are the cool new thing, though I wasn’t cool enough to even know that when I bought one.

If you’re not familiar with them, they’re exactly what they sound like- heavy blankets. They usually contain beads of glass or plastic, come in different weights, and are GREAT for insomnia, anxiety, and just general coziness.

Yup. A blanket. I could not WAIT for the blanket to arrive.

And when it finally did, it was worth.every.penny. It’s like being hugged by velvet. It’s like the weight of the world falls away as the weight of the blanket settles around you.

And The Captain’s eyes also lit up when he saw it:

“A weighted blanket? I’ve heard about those- they’re supposed to be great! Can I try it??”

So he & I took turns burrowing into the blanket, basking in it’s coziness, which is all you need to know about what being middle-aged is like, kids.

I was genuinely thrilled with my gifts this year -a laptop lap desk & a weighted blanket-, in case you youngsters wondered what being in your 40s is like.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 27, 2019

So of course the kids mocked us when they saw our gifts. In fact, the 16y.o. (#2) said:

“Wow. Just WOW. I don’t want to be an adult if it means getting lame gifts like these. It’s almost depressing!”

So the other kids joined in, teasing about the fact that an onion slicer or a blanket could be considered cool presents someone would want to receive.

(And I can’t say I blame them on the onion slicer front, because those red onions are seriously PUNGENT.)

Oh, sure, they mocked me that day. But gradually, the mocking subsided, and I started finding people nestled under my blanket. People, mind you, that are not ME, the blanket’s rightful owner.

Others began enjoying my “depressing grown-up gift” … a little too much.

The 8y.o. (#5) , declaring that my blanket “is as cool as a real unicorn would be!” (from her, high praise indeed.)

 

Then I came in one day to find THIS: the 17y.o. (#1) creating a social networking conference center… WHILE USING MY BLANKET.

#1: “What? It IS comfortable. Besides, you borrowed by Ugg boots yesterday, so…”

So the sanctity of my blanket sanctuary was being violated, but then the indignity escalated.

They actually began to take it from my room. From.My.ROOM.

Clearly the blanket must be magic, because he literally NEVER naps. 

And despite me telling the little dude (#6) that the blanket belonged to mama, he managed to sneak off with it again.

(But I was impressed that he managed to haul the 20lb blanket in there twice- no easy feat.)

 

And within days, the blanket was even making its way into the living room, people. The LIVING ROOM.

Here lies the 14y.0., who slept until 11am without moving a muscle, because MAGIC. (and because he’s a teen, and that’s just what they do. But still- cool blanket.)

But the final twist of fate was to walk into the living room to behold this sight.

The very child, the 16y.o., who began the insulting verbal onslaught of deeming my gift blanket “adult depressing”…

CHILLING UNDER MY BLANKET.

To her credit, she admitted that the blanket was, in fact, the “best blanket EVER”. Not only does she slip under it anytime she can, she wants one of her own.

So my cherished magic weighted blanket has apparently become the gift that keeps giving- to everyone.

But the upside: any kid that uses it becomes so calm & quiet while wrapped in it that I’m tempted to buy one for every family member, & to force them to wear them to the dinner table.  And in the car.  Or anywhere in my presence, really.

See the joy that come from such simple gifts??

 

(Note: Here’s a link to the blanket I have- I have no contact with their company, & I’m not being paid to share it. I just seriously love this blanket that much… when I get a chance to actually use it.)

 

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