Big Families
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Boy, Oh Boy.
Our sixth child was born in late spring of this year. And he is a boy, which thrilled our whole family to no end. Not that we prefer one gender over another, because we really don’t. Because prior to our baby son’s (#6) arrival, our five children consisted of four girls, and one boy. Our older son is sandwiched between two older sisters and two younger ones. Our older son is a very patient, quiet little guy. Because he has to be. His short life has thus far been a lesson in keeping women happy, or trying to. Many, many women. People always ask us, but The Captain and I…
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The Momivan
A friend of mine asked me recently, out of genuine concern, what kind of car I drive. Not out of concern for my reputation, mind you. But more of the mindset of “How do you FIT all of these people that you created IN your car?” Like most formerly cool people, I initially resisted the idea of a minivan. Not because I was a car snob prior to reproducing at the speed of light. No, precisely the opposite. Because most of the cars I’d driven were clunkers… Car #1: a Hyundai that I proudly bought with money from my first high school job. The car with the sunroof that leaked rainwater…
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Nanny Wanted
It seems in today’s age that large families are not the norm anymore. The “Large Family” phenomenon from past years has been abandoned as most couples try not to exceed the parent to child ratio rule. Once there are more kids than there are parents, you cross over into an alternate universe- -A sudden plunge into a world where sanity and order vanish like a puff of smoke. While I’m busy bringing home the bacon (diapers, milk, vodka, etc…), my wife is home holding down the fort. Pondering her daily struggles, it dawned on me that something has been missing. How have those who have gone before us managed with so many children? Thanks to the…
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Bedtime: The 5 Stages of Grief
With six kids ages ten and under, bedtime blows. Seriously. Maybe because it’s summer. Probably also because The Captain works a lot of nights, too, so I’m flying solo on the bedtime routine. As much as I adore my babies- and I truly do- after an entire day of doing the single parent thing, I’m over them. This is what happens, daily. Like this. Only more so. 1. Denial: It’ll be fine. The baby’s sleeping now, so I have time to tuck the two little girls with a story first. But maybe I even have time to <insert fun, non-kid activity here. Like sitting down.> for myself since it’s still early. Maybe I’ll have them all…
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